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Monday, January 3, 2011

Title : 2011. School Starts

School's starting! Totally not looking forward to it -.- but ohh well, its the last year already isnt it? so happy~ last year = crazy & mugging year! Hehes.. Homework haven done yet... still left Phy, Art, Maths, and BIOLOGY!!!!! * lighting strike* OMG... dring this time i should be worried right? but weirdly.. i'm not! kekes~ anyways the first few days of school aint gonna do anything either..so its fine.. haven brought my handbook and eng compilation! kekes~ hope there's still stock left:)

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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Title : ---- End ----

I was watching 下一站, 幸福.. then i began to cry..

Imagine that i was a lonely girl with no friends and no guys would fancy. I was always alone..even though the guy i liked took the initiative to talk to me, but when other girls called him, he went straight to them.. I was too naive.. It was just pity..

I thought that this would be a good story for writing a song... Finally i had the inspiration. Then, when i look at myself... i thought that i was quite similar to the girl in my story.

I was someone that does not or should i say.. dared not reveal my real feelings to other people.. Always putting on a strong front. Smiling face.. I never really shown my sadness or anger right?.. When i get angry at people, i'm don't meant to show it.. i didn't want everyone to become unhappy because of it. But if i do, it only meant i had hit my limit.. I hide all my sadness and let them out silently at night. All i could do is to cry silently.. afraid that my parents would hear.. For years now..it has always been like this.. I kept everything to myself..

As i listen to 2AM's You Wouldn't Answer My Calls, i couldn't help but to just cry harder..I admit, this is the hardest i have cried this year.. All the sadness seems to form up again.. Even drinking water is hard for me.. I sat at the corner in between my bed and my wardrobe.. lying my head against the wardrobe wall..

Suddenly,i felt all the dreams, wishes and ambitions i had in the past were gone don't want to do anything now.. I just wanna be a normal person..

I was very conscious about how people look at me in the past. But now, i thought that being a lonely person wasn't such a bad thing either. Someone with no friends, no lovers.. Always by myself.. Isolating myself from the outside world.

As i cry, i now understands why some teens when faced with problems that they cant take it, they would think of suicide. I was someone who was afraid of death, always thinking where would i be after i die.. But now, when your heart is empty, filled with sadness..death wasn't such a scary thing either.. Now i understand why they would thought of ending their lives. In the past, i thought they are foolish people. Life is precious, just because of little things, they wanna end it.

Now, my head hurts from all that crying.. and my eyes are swollen too.. Tonight, i cried myself to sleep..

*EXTRA* Through one night, i understood alot of things.. why onew would cry, why taemin crys toos and why jonghyun wants a girlfriend. Being a celebrity is really tough huh? All alone by yourself, no family or friends beside you when you need them..Now i don't mind at all that Jjong has a girlfriend. Cause i understand...


// Phrase that represent my feelings now? ; That strong person you know, is gonna let her tears flow down today.



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Sunday, December 26, 2010

Title : Merry Christmas

yoohoos everyone! its christmas~ hahas. i know i'm like a day late :P
anyways, yesterday went to buy laptop with dad:D hehes~ christmas present? yea, can count it that way toos. my old one isnt working that well..pss, his 4 years old already!><
brought Vaio E series:) and its WHITE!!!! kekes~~ heard that the white and lime green ones are kinda like the "limited edition ones" cause its colours are the nicest and they produce less of it toos. at first didnt believe toos until when i wanna buy it, they say out of stock and the boss has to drive to their other branch to get it for us:) hehes~ last night been trying out all its functions. like a country bumpkin that never saw laptops, i played with the webcam, everything else toos.
finally now i can play games surfweb faster! no more waiting! but i really wanna try webcaming with people~ kekes~
ohhs, btw, mum brought a sound system? amp? or dont know what you call that either. anyways, anyone wanna come my house for karaoke? ;) hehes~
happy days past very soon and school is starting in a week's time! OMGosh! haven do homework-.-
i'll just give up on maths hmk yea? thats the one that is most likely wont collect de-.-
sad...
anyone wanna go countdown together? ;D



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Friday, November 5, 2010

Title : Tweet Tweet!

Heys~ school holiday started!! finally finished this whole week's bio classes! hehes~ but i still have to go back for drill practise:'( tmr gonna go run at henderson wave for drill practise. Bvss's mdm said we dont have stamina, so gonna go train it:o
Ohh wells, news today: I'VE JOINED TWITTER!
hehes, too bored with nothing to do so created a account:p
follow me @ Jaznale2104 if you want:)
hmphs..its abit confusing but i realise its really a good way to know more about idols:)
&& miss A's min is really good in english! hahas~ realised it today
anyways, hope to find a job soon hehes although holidays already started-.-
kays then, buais~~~

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Saturday, October 30, 2010

Title :

Heys!! hahas~ Lazy to blog these days yea:P so yupps, today went for interview with gina & liliang. hais, cause of my age, many jobs i'm not able to do.. yea, i know,cause i'm still young you know..unlike erhmphs...*gina* who is 16 already, so she's like old to do those jobs yea;)
so..yea. i now also dont feel like working anymore..want to find jobs also so hard. plus i going back thailand quite soon le:)))
kays, everyone! listen to snsd's new song, HOOT! okays? nice song~ :DD

wish i could get my itouch soon~ :((

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Bling Bling Jjong
JongHyun♥♥
Flaming Charisma
Minho♥
Infinate Possibility Maknae
Taemin♥♥
Almighty Key
Key♥♥
Dubu leader Onew~ *my love*
Onew♥♥♥